Fairy House Faux Pas

Well, you know about Renaissance festivals? If you don’t, it is basically grown men in tights and heavy women with exposed bosoms spending the weekend in a mishmash nonexistent time period somewhere between the middle ages and the dawn of pirate furries.  I was introduced in high school performing with a madrigal choir group. Like most things related to high school, I remember the festival as being awkward and embarrassing, but overall enjoyable.

Long story short, in a fit of nostalgia, my fella and I were skimming the festival website for ticket info when we discovered a wonderful promotion; Submit a handmade fairy house in exchange for two free tickets.  What is a fairy house? We were not really sure, but you'll see how I imagined it in a minute.

So there we were, within the hour of discovering this wonderful catch-free promotion, scowering the woods, filling my purse with acorns, bark, pebbles, sticks, moss, and surprisingly sticky pine cones. I believe, at some point Dear Fella, said something like, “what if we have to submit the house early?” I think I answered with a shrug, followed by a shriek of delight over a particularly curly stick.

Riding a wave of artistic inspiration fueled by approximately 10 episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs & Downton Abbey (thanks as always, PBS) I came to produce this:

Dedicated to Downton.

I snapped some pictures and emailed them to the contact person about exchanging it for tickets. (Note: The story starts to get somewhat depressing at this point. If you don’t want to hear about me wasting upwards of 15 hours of my life, maybe just scroll on and look at the pretty pictures.) Yep. No exchanges on festival days, meaning I’d need to drive almost three hours there and back just to drop the thing off. 

Oatmeal Box Turret. 

Clay mushrooms on toothpick bottoms. Hand-painted.

 Here' a litte collage of fairy   house.  Totally superfluous fairy house. 

Made of super sticky pine cones. My hands were a disaster. Also, super time consuming.  Took like 2 episodes.

The chimney is a wonderful piece of driftwood.

-So, am I somewhat ashamed of the fact that I have that much time to devote to tiny house making. A little.

-Was I bummed that it was to no avail? Yes :(

-What the heck did I do with a fairy house? Dear Fella installed it in his school library. I believe he may have posited some tale about the book fairy in explanation.

-Did we go to the festival anyway? Yeah. We were so hyped about it!  We had a lovely day. Although we continued to be outraged that we didn't have free tickets the whole day. 

I say to thee man, no free tickets!? Tis an outrage!

So. Always call first, before investing massive amounts of time into questionable projects. Or don't and have the fun anyway. :) Huzzah!

Two-liter Pop Bottle Bike Bundle

 

I recently brought my restored cruiser out from my parent’s garage and into my tiny apartment. There really is no room for it, so it sits awkwardly wherever there is un-cluttered floor space available. Ah, but how delightful it is to zoom along on nice, clean, flat, and paved roads.  As a previously Ozark-hills-county-road inhabitant, my bike rides were mostly limited to dirt roads and brush-hogged paths (both involve more work and more bug bites than enjoyment.) And though I have to haul the bike down two flights of stairs, that smooth cruise is ever so worth it.  City living, you win this one. 

This bike weighs 800 pounds. 900 on the second flight.

Snap, interior, vintage button montage.

I was literally walking out the door to buy a bike basket (what for to keep my phone, keys, mace—yeah, city living, you lose on the having to carry mace issue), when I spotted an empty 2-liter pop bottle.  Here’s what I did, and you can do it too…

First cut off both ends of the pop bottle. 

Maybe wash the pop out too.

Trace the bottom on some cardboard and cut out two circles. 

Then cut about a three-inch segment out of the tube. This will be your flappy part. Now, pop those cardboard circles in the ends. Hot-glue. Hot-glue forever. 

See, the flap part is cut out.

Now cover it inside and out with thin batting. Be sure to stick your flap back on (in-between the two layers of batting...if that makes any sense.) Hot-glue again.

Flap is back in (between the two layers of batting.)

Now, from here I won’t attempt to offer exact instructions, but rather I’ll just tell you to cover it. Cover it however you can. I glued fabric on and then stitched it all together.  You could use oilcloth or laminate or leather. 

Note the vintage button slam-dunk and the chicken fabric on the inside. When I bought that chicken fabric, I thought, “what am I ganna do with chicken fabric?” Clearly, this is what chicken fabric is meant for.  

Chicken fabric win.

Tie-on attach.

Took it for a spin last night and it was pretty perfect. Sun-dress on, snazzed up bicycle, well! hello, Mr. Summmer, care to join me for some lemonade? 

Questions? Comments? Leave 'um down yonder. 

A Croton Conundrum: How to Air Layer Propagate Your Plants out of Awkwardom.

This is my croton. It’s “leggy”—which is plant people speak for awkwardly having about three leaves at the top of a two foot long stem.  

I'm a bad plant parent. Also, you can see a few test air-prop. bundles.

 

This mutant look was achieved when I left the plant in a too chilly apt. for a couple of weeks this winter. Also, the leaves are constantly being womped off by fatal tail wags from the canine in residence.

So, here’s what I’m going to do—air layering propagation. Basically this will shorten the plant by creating new roots further up the stem. This should cure some of the awkward (or just kill the plant—never actually done this before. Cross your fingers, ya’ll) and give me a smaller and tidier plant. Here is the basic procedure.

Several inches down from the last leaves slice a circular band in the stem. Cut another about two inches down. Don’t cut all the way through, just enough to get the bark off. 

Then cut a line from band to band. Slip your razor or knife or preferred slicing device under the bark and simply peel it off.

Now, with a paintbrush dab some rooting hormone on the wound.

 

Glob a handful of damp sphagnum moss around the operation site. Now plastic wrap it up real good and secure with twisty ties or string.

Now, we wait and watch for signs of root growth (or entire plant death), making sure to keep the sphagnum ball moist.  Hopefully in a couple of months, a root system will develop enough that I can snip of the braches and repot them.

Herb Garden

 

Recently while yard sale-ing (too many of my sentences begin this way), I bought these three unintentionally matching kitchen items; a little blue bundt pan, a speckled blue saucer, and a nifty teacup.  

Really, the only sensible thing to do was to glue all three things together and plant herbs in there. So I did.

In the above pictures you can see that I first put down a layer of sphagnum moss, then some rocks (both for drainage), and then some potting soil. 

I planted chives, dill, cilantro, and lavender. 

Three for eats, one for smells.

Then I watered everything and wrapped it up with plastic wrap. This creates a nice little greenhouse for the first period while everything is germinating. Nothing to do but sit back and wait for the herb magic.

So warm and dirty in here.

 

Everything is growing nicely. Soon these herbs will be making my food yummier.

That eyebrow says, "I'm not actually supposed to be in this picture, am I?"

 

Speaking of food, check out my veggie garden made out of dumpster "two-ba-furs" and lashed to my balcony railing 

Happy Happy Summertime!

That's it! I wish good growing to all! 

Terrariums: A Houseplant for Houseplant Serial Killers

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When first started keeping them, I did not have the best luck with houseplants. I over watered them. I under watered them. I completely forgot about their existence. I’ve murdered more plants than I care to admit. That is, until I met the terrarium.  Terrariums are perfect if you are short on space or time or nurturing abilities. 

Literally Immortal

Plus, you can put awesome tiny stuff in a terrarium.  Like book-browsing dinosaur/dragons.  The creature pictured below is the result of a request to do “a dinosaur.” It’s more of a dragonasaurus.

This Dragonasaurus and his terrarium home now reside in an Elementary school library, where he delights and inspires wee children daily.

I recommend succulents. And moss. Both require only the occasional spritz of water.  I have used chicken and hens in this terrarium, some found moss, and some crazy alien plant that was growing in my mother’s succulent garden. She has no idea what it is either. 

Pictured: Strange Spindly Alien Plant

To put together a terrerium, you just need a few things:

• Rocks, pebbles, or marbles (basically anything for drainage on the bottom.)

• Sphagnum Moss (you can get this at pet stores, but it's much cheaper at a Home Depot or Lowes)

• Plants

• Dirt

• A Glass Container 

Just layer rocks, moss, dirt, then plants into your container. You can't mess it up. If you do...I don't even know. I guess, take a minute to ask yourself why Mother Nature has such a beef with you.

Lots of different plants do good. Again I like the succulents because they are colorful and strange and pretty dang hard to kill. 

This is a great guide for planning, planting, and maintaining terrariums: http://extension.missouri.edu/p/g6520 It also has a good list of stuff that will grow in a terrarium. And it's put out by Mizzou-- thanks, old friend.

Taadaa! A Terrerium. Enjoy and leave a comment!

Oh My, Chocolate Pie!

When people say “it’s easy as pie” they mean this specific pie. This pie is easy because it is basically just pudding. So people should really start saying “it’s easy as pudding” It has a ring to it, I think.

Why, that's just easy as puddin'!

This comes from a family cookbook and is titled “Chloe’s Chocolate Pie”. Chloe is a relative of mine (a great aunt, I think—I'm never sure, I've got a lot of relatives.) and happens to be her late 90’s.  Clearly she is living proof that chocolate pie is the secret to longevity. 

Fountain of Youth

You could put this pie into any pie crust, but I made an Oreo Crust (recipe below) and topped it with homemade whipped cream and some chocolate shavings for extra yums.

Chloe's Chocolate Pie

• 1 Cup Sugar

• 3 Cups Milk

• 1/4 Cup Corn Starch (I've used flour before, though it's not advisable, unless you're into runny pie)

• 1/4 Cup Cocoa

• 3 Eggs, Beaten (The original recipe says "3 Each Eggs, Beaten"--who knows what that means?)

• 1 Teaspoon Vanilla

Put all ingredients in a pan (except vanilla, save that for the very end or you'll cook the flavor out) and bring to a boil on top of the stove. Stirring constantly (No, really, stuff gets...lumpy...fast). When thickened, pour into a prepared pie shell. 

Oreo Pie Crust

• 24 Oreo cookies
• 1/4 Cup Melted Butter

(It's not exactly health food)

Food process your Oreos and mix with the butter.  Press mixture into pie pan and chill for about an hour.

Once you've poured the pie in, I'd chill the whole shebang for a bit, so it'll slice better. Be warned: It is pretty rich. Like fall-into-a-sugar-coma rich. So, eat up and plan recuperation time accordingly.

Maple Monday

Meet Maple.

Picture courtesy of my talented photographer sister.

Maple is my hairy child. She is the reason that many of my crafts are doggie-centric. She is very mannerly, but you’ll find that lots of my pictures have a paw or nose poking in; she isn’t big on personal space.

Now this post isn’t really about Maple, but she is the featured model in some of the pictures, and, well it's Monday and I couldn’t resist the alliteration.

Here is the real project:

Dog Biscuit Bed

A Dog Biscuit Bed. It's made using the exact same process as yesterday’s Biscuit Quilt. Just added a little puffy border on three sides. 

She's definitely only doing this for a piece of string cheese. 

Clearly, Maple is a bit too big for this bed, which I sold on Etsy to a very cozy litter of French Bulldogs (well their person--French Bulldog puppies rarely have their own Palpay accounts). 

Imagine it filled with puppies. Overwhelming cuteness.

Hope you liked it! Merry Maple Monday!

All I Really Need to Know I Learned from PBS Quilting Shows

Ok, maybe not everything. But some pretty good stuff. Like this:

Biscuit-y Goodness

A biscuit quilt!  At least that’s what the PBS ladies called it. I’ve been seeing them on Esty as “puffy quilts”.  “Biscuit” is clearly better and more delicious sounding. 

Does not smell or taste like real biscuits. Sorry.

 

I made this quilt for my brand new niece, Miss Avery. The sassy patterned fabric you see is “Baby Genuis” by Benartex. Supposedly its good for baby brains. Also, what fun to squeeze the little pillow puffs with those new fancy things you've discovered called hands!

By the time you are done with a biscuit quilt it’ll be sorta heavy, so it’s really more like a baby placemat, than a wrap-up blanket.

Baby Placemat.  

And you'll want to tie-quilt it in some fashion. I used a fluffy yarn. Just remember, the thicker the yarn, the harder it will be to pull the needle through.

Fluffy Yarn Tied Back

Now, I won't tell you that biscuit quilts are easy or fast. They are definitely time consuming and kinda hard on your hands, from squeezing pillows tight enough to sew them together. But overall they are way worth it. People and babies everywhere will be impressed! Try one for yourself. If you want specific instructions, there are several good tutorials around.

Here's one: http://danandtes.blogspot.com/2011/10/puff-quilt-tutorial-for-beginners.html