Macramé I Show You Something Neat?

I have a tutorial for you. I make and sell these headbands on etsy, but Imma teach you my secrets. The knot is my own creation, but it's basically a doubling of the currick bend knot (which I learned from a macrame book that I got from a garage sale at a pet cemetery. This pet cemetery also had a sign reading, "UFO Meeting-Tuesday" I know this is a major digression, but I think people need to know about this place. In case they lose a pet, or are abducted, or just have their Tuesdays free). If you'd like to just buy one and not muddle through my directions, here is my shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/SallyToeBelly

I haven't been listing them as much lately, and as I usually give directions to anyone who asks through etsy, the trick is no grand secret. Also, I'm fairly sure that only my immediate family reads this blog, so I'm not too concerned some entrepreneur with suck up my knowledge and make a million bucks off it. But even if they do, it'll give me something good to complain about well into old age. "Come children, listen how one blog post made granny a poor old delusional lady with only animals obtained off craigslist for company, instead of a multimillionaire." Here's how to tie the knot (literally. this is a craft blog, not a relationship advise column.) 

So, while you can use any string material, (yarn, rope, your own hair*) I use t-shirt string. You just rotary blade off a 1 inch strip of shirt and pull. Makes this very nice roll-y string. 

*Alright, listen, I just learned about Victorian hair jewelry from the Antiques Road Show. You should check this stuff out--it's just the right mix of lovely and creepy. I also read a book about it, "Love Entwined" I digress again. How knot-y. Back to the knot..

Okay, here we go. Lay your first string down like so (above). Notice where it goes over and under. I'm only using one string for clarity, but you can use as many as you'd like. I usually use three. 

You're second string will come up from the bottom like so. Keep everything loose, at then end you will cinch it all up nice and tidy. 

Uh, do this. Seriously, pay attention to whats going under and whats going over. Remember that an individual string will alternate under/over with each movement. Think weaving. 

Also, do this. Word instructions are hard. Use eyeballs.

And one last pull through…

3...2..1..headband!

Look-y-lou what we've got. With a final squeeze on all ends, there's your finished project. I make headbands with it, but you could make a purse or guitar strap, sew it onto a top for a cute detail, or make it into a bracelet. Go forth and use this knot knowledge for good, my people. 

For baring with me through this tedious post, I reward you with a picture of Maple wearing sunglasses. 

Super Cool. 

Too Cool For Crewel

I used to think embroidery was all kitty cats and rocking chairs and nonsensical samplers and radiating angels, framed and hanging on your grandmother’s paneled wall.  I thought cross-stitch was crotchety. Embroidery was extinct.  I was just to cool for crewel.

Times have changed, children. There are many very modern, chic, and witty embroidery and cross-stitch patterns out there these days.  And your finished products need not be framed and hung up only, make a pillow, a tote bag, a sweater, anything really!  Today, I’m ganna share a few of my favorite (and very hip-and-with-it, I assure you) projects. Also, I’ll provide some links to some sites with great patterns and kits.

Photographed this outside in the yard. Very nearly placed pillow right on a pile of dog poop.

The first is from a pattern by Urban Stitches and is plain old DMC cotton thread. Nothing fancy here, mostly just split and satin stitches.

Sewing is Sexy. Except when your partner sits on stray pins left on the couch. No Sexy then. Just Angry. 

Appropriate text for the bathroom. 

This project literally spanned years. That’s actually a nice feature of counted cross stitch, you can just pick it up whenever and resume from your pattern. I purchased these patterns from an etsy seller (listed below). When I was done, I mounted the aida cloth on foam core and framed it myself; a process that is easier than it sounds and will save you a boat load—I’ll do a tut. on it sometime.

French knots sheep

How cute are those lambs? I received this pattern plus kit (thread and cloth) for my birthday and was absolutely delighted with it. This etsy seller (The Floss Box) sends you a pdf with detailed photo instructions on every stitch of the project.  I would recommend one of her kits for a beginner. Her instructions are really clear and she provides a photo catalogue of all stitches used. 

The pillow itself is made of just two fat quarters. The ball fringe is handmade with felted balls—using, yep sheep wool—poetic.

And Finally, this is the piece I'm currently working on:

Come back, Downton Abby, I miss you. 

Okay. Now you do it! Links below.

Embroidery

http://www.urbanthreads.com/

http://www.sublimestitching.com/collections/patterns

Cross-Stitch

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BookPilgrim?ref=seller_info

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Sewingseed

Crewel

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Theflossbox?ref=seller_info

Fairy House Faux Pas

Well, you know about Renaissance festivals? If you don’t, it is basically grown men in tights and heavy women with exposed bosoms spending the weekend in a mishmash nonexistent time period somewhere between the middle ages and the dawn of pirate furries.  I was introduced in high school performing with a madrigal choir group. Like most things related to high school, I remember the festival as being awkward and embarrassing, but overall enjoyable.

Long story short, in a fit of nostalgia, my fella and I were skimming the festival website for ticket info when we discovered a wonderful promotion; Submit a handmade fairy house in exchange for two free tickets.  What is a fairy house? We were not really sure, but you'll see how I imagined it in a minute.

So there we were, within the hour of discovering this wonderful catch-free promotion, scowering the woods, filling my purse with acorns, bark, pebbles, sticks, moss, and surprisingly sticky pine cones. I believe, at some point Dear Fella, said something like, “what if we have to submit the house early?” I think I answered with a shrug, followed by a shriek of delight over a particularly curly stick.

Riding a wave of artistic inspiration fueled by approximately 10 episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs & Downton Abbey (thanks as always, PBS) I came to produce this:

Dedicated to Downton.

I snapped some pictures and emailed them to the contact person about exchanging it for tickets. (Note: The story starts to get somewhat depressing at this point. If you don’t want to hear about me wasting upwards of 15 hours of my life, maybe just scroll on and look at the pretty pictures.) Yep. No exchanges on festival days, meaning I’d need to drive almost three hours there and back just to drop the thing off. 

Oatmeal Box Turret. 

Clay mushrooms on toothpick bottoms. Hand-painted.

 Here' a litte collage of fairy   house.  Totally superfluous fairy house. 

Made of super sticky pine cones. My hands were a disaster. Also, super time consuming.  Took like 2 episodes.

The chimney is a wonderful piece of driftwood.

-So, am I somewhat ashamed of the fact that I have that much time to devote to tiny house making. A little.

-Was I bummed that it was to no avail? Yes :(

-What the heck did I do with a fairy house? Dear Fella installed it in his school library. I believe he may have posited some tale about the book fairy in explanation.

-Did we go to the festival anyway? Yeah. We were so hyped about it!  We had a lovely day. Although we continued to be outraged that we didn't have free tickets the whole day. 

I say to thee man, no free tickets!? Tis an outrage!

So. Always call first, before investing massive amounts of time into questionable projects. Or don't and have the fun anyway. :) Huzzah!

Two-liter Pop Bottle Bike Bundle

 

I recently brought my restored cruiser out from my parent’s garage and into my tiny apartment. There really is no room for it, so it sits awkwardly wherever there is un-cluttered floor space available. Ah, but how delightful it is to zoom along on nice, clean, flat, and paved roads.  As a previously Ozark-hills-county-road inhabitant, my bike rides were mostly limited to dirt roads and brush-hogged paths (both involve more work and more bug bites than enjoyment.) And though I have to haul the bike down two flights of stairs, that smooth cruise is ever so worth it.  City living, you win this one. 

This bike weighs 800 pounds. 900 on the second flight.

Snap, interior, vintage button montage.

I was literally walking out the door to buy a bike basket (what for to keep my phone, keys, mace—yeah, city living, you lose on the having to carry mace issue), when I spotted an empty 2-liter pop bottle.  Here’s what I did, and you can do it too…

First cut off both ends of the pop bottle. 

Maybe wash the pop out too.

Trace the bottom on some cardboard and cut out two circles. 

Then cut about a three-inch segment out of the tube. This will be your flappy part. Now, pop those cardboard circles in the ends. Hot-glue. Hot-glue forever. 

See, the flap part is cut out.

Now cover it inside and out with thin batting. Be sure to stick your flap back on (in-between the two layers of batting...if that makes any sense.) Hot-glue again.

Flap is back in (between the two layers of batting.)

Now, from here I won’t attempt to offer exact instructions, but rather I’ll just tell you to cover it. Cover it however you can. I glued fabric on and then stitched it all together.  You could use oilcloth or laminate or leather. 

Note the vintage button slam-dunk and the chicken fabric on the inside. When I bought that chicken fabric, I thought, “what am I ganna do with chicken fabric?” Clearly, this is what chicken fabric is meant for.  

Chicken fabric win.

Tie-on attach.

Took it for a spin last night and it was pretty perfect. Sun-dress on, snazzed up bicycle, well! hello, Mr. Summmer, care to join me for some lemonade? 

Questions? Comments? Leave 'um down yonder. 

A Croton Conundrum: How to Air Layer Propagate Your Plants out of Awkwardom.

This is my croton. It’s “leggy”—which is plant people speak for awkwardly having about three leaves at the top of a two foot long stem.  

I'm a bad plant parent. Also, you can see a few test air-prop. bundles.

 

This mutant look was achieved when I left the plant in a too chilly apt. for a couple of weeks this winter. Also, the leaves are constantly being womped off by fatal tail wags from the canine in residence.

So, here’s what I’m going to do—air layering propagation. Basically this will shorten the plant by creating new roots further up the stem. This should cure some of the awkward (or just kill the plant—never actually done this before. Cross your fingers, ya’ll) and give me a smaller and tidier plant. Here is the basic procedure.

Several inches down from the last leaves slice a circular band in the stem. Cut another about two inches down. Don’t cut all the way through, just enough to get the bark off. 

Then cut a line from band to band. Slip your razor or knife or preferred slicing device under the bark and simply peel it off.

Now, with a paintbrush dab some rooting hormone on the wound.

 

Glob a handful of damp sphagnum moss around the operation site. Now plastic wrap it up real good and secure with twisty ties or string.

Now, we wait and watch for signs of root growth (or entire plant death), making sure to keep the sphagnum ball moist.  Hopefully in a couple of months, a root system will develop enough that I can snip of the braches and repot them.

Herb Garden

 

Recently while yard sale-ing (too many of my sentences begin this way), I bought these three unintentionally matching kitchen items; a little blue bundt pan, a speckled blue saucer, and a nifty teacup.  

Really, the only sensible thing to do was to glue all three things together and plant herbs in there. So I did.

In the above pictures you can see that I first put down a layer of sphagnum moss, then some rocks (both for drainage), and then some potting soil. 

I planted chives, dill, cilantro, and lavender. 

Three for eats, one for smells.

Then I watered everything and wrapped it up with plastic wrap. This creates a nice little greenhouse for the first period while everything is germinating. Nothing to do but sit back and wait for the herb magic.

So warm and dirty in here.

 

Everything is growing nicely. Soon these herbs will be making my food yummier.

That eyebrow says, "I'm not actually supposed to be in this picture, am I?"

 

Speaking of food, check out my veggie garden made out of dumpster "two-ba-furs" and lashed to my balcony railing 

Happy Happy Summertime!

That's it! I wish good growing to all!